4444

I distinctly remember the first time numbers started grabbing me. Weirdly enough, it directly correlates with my grandma passing away.

My grandma was a woman who was highly tuned into mysticism and spirituality. She was the first person to introduce me to astrology (she was way ahead of the lesbians on this one), and often would talk about her unique views on afterlife and connection. I remember very shortly after she died, the number 23 would jump out to me everywhere. I had never been in tune with numbers like that, but I swear this number was everywhere I looked. I began noticing other numbers too, repeating digits and a special one that happened to be my dorm room number in college.

I began researching numerology. The numbers were uncanny. All of the haters will have their takes on why angel numbers are not real or how it’s a trick of the mind, but honestly you just don’t know until you know. Maybe they don’t have an angel team in the way that some others do. It bothers me when people try to tell me otherwise, as if their experience or ideas are the only true thing in this universe. Sorry you’re uncool.

Anyways, as these numbers started pouring into my life, I was very excited by them. Even to this day, with a pretty solid understanding of the vibrations and messages of each number, I continue to look them up as I see them. Noticing these numbers brings me special moments in the day where I feel guided and connected to something more.

I chose 4444 as the angel number to highlight this post, because it’s one that stood out to me recently. With 4 representing protection, foundation, and love, I saw this directly after making a brave and important decision in my romantic life. I had been in my head about this decision the whole day, experiencing some confusion and lack of clear direction. I finally chose to deepen the connection, and to leave behind patterns I had been working towards shedding for some time. It was uncanny to see 4444 in literal direct timing with this decision. I feel so seen, supported, and loved by other dimensions and by the loved ones sending me these signs. Whether good times or bad, they seem to always be there.

There is a slight caveat to this whole thing, and that is: my mental health diagnosis can correlate with spirituality and signs. Sometimes it’s hard to separate the two. For example, I had to retire my stunning and beloved tarot deck, because unfortunately I just get carried away with it. I also have to be cautious of spiritual beliefs that border on delusions. It is a fine line that I am learning to walk. Ultimately, I am sure of this: I am spiritual. I have a strong sense of connectedness and spirituality. Those things can become problematic when I am not feeling well, but it doesn’t take it away from my identity or experience. I can accept both truths.

I feel lucky to experience a life that is connected to the divine. It feels unique to see the world through such a lens. It also feels like a secret superpower. It is definitely the reason for a lot of why I am who I am, and potentially why I draw others or certain experiences. Thank you Nani, for showing me this world when you were alive, and for continuing to immerse me in this world now that you are elsewhere.

Love,
Bri