You never know who’s life you’re impacting. It’s extremely neat when someone lets you know how you’ve altered their path with something you’ve said or done. Chances are too, a lot of the time you’ll never know.
A few weeks ago, a friend I’ve kept up with through digital methods and an occasional card or letter, allowed me in on this: Coming out to her as a woman who loves other women had a profound impact on her. This was back in high school, when we both attended a conservative Catholic school (i.e., coming out wasn’t the norm). Brave little Bri, confided in her friend during a sunset beach outing. I genuinely had no idea that this left any sort of mark on my friend, until 10 years later.
“You made an outsized, permanent impact in my life. Both in terms of emotional safety and shaping my own values. My LGBTQIA+ advocacy started with you.”
When I tell you that you’re influencing lives in ways you will never entirely grasp, I mean it. I think it’s important to always be doing our best for others, whether that looks like owning up and apologizing (even 4 years later), taking extra efforts with a grieving friend, or whatever and however your personal fingerprint likes to leave its mark. It’s more than okay to make mistakes too, but try and keep choosing good. Choosing the kind words. Listening… deeply and without judgment, or the need to fix.
My friend is incredible for letting me know this realization. I feel inspired to tell my impactful friends and allies what they mean or have meant to me too, if called.
<3 <3 🙂
Bri